I’ve been working for 4 months now. First two months was training for our production, third month was for our parallel run and currently our live operations.

This is my first job as I just graduated last year, May 2017. To be honest, it’s hard to find a job since you’re a fresh graduate with no work experience at all. It took me about 5 to 6 job application from several companies before a company finally accepted me. At some point, I lost hope thinking that maybe the problem is in me. I assessed myself every single end of the job interview. It’s frustrating because I know I can do it. It’s just that I’m not confident on how I speak or communicate in English. Yes, speaking English is my weakness especially when it’s on the spot. I tend to stutter so much when talking, even in my mother tongue. I don’t know what’s happening but I guess I tend to overthink a lot. So many thoughts every time I try to converse with people.

I don’t know. I’m tired thinking right now. I’m gonna end this nonsense blog. It’s just some random thoughts. Haven’t updated this blog tho. Well, I guess no one is reading my posts so I don’t mind making this on public.

Have a nice day guys!


BATCH 2017

Hello guys! I finally graduated from college! It is now the time for the real world. A lot of people who are in the industry always tell us that being in the corporate world is never easy. It’ll be a long journey for me to achieve the goals I aspire. Difficulties are always present. You just have to move forward and face the challenges that you will encounter. Who knows? Maybe someday, you’ll be on top because you did something that is hard to work for.

Anyway, congratulations to the batch 2017! Good luck in all your future endeavors!

My channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRDx6fSc-roixD7HItmh-Cg

Current Videos – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRDx6fSc-roixD7HItmh-Cg/videos

Latest video: https://youtu.be/Wl5DcOTCVHs

Internship Thoughts

Pressured. Tired. Unmotivated.

Three words that probably describes my current situation right now.

I am having an internship in Makati and so far, I am enjoying it.


You know, that feeling when you are being optimistic and having a positive vibes in the morning but when you start to work, everything seems to be crowded. Does that make sense? I don’t know.

Lately, my mind is having a lot of thoughts when I’m walking until I reached the building where I am having an internship.

“Do I still have a  purpose there?” “Is this really what I want?” “I want to stop now but..”

As a person who is in the field of Information Technology, there are a lot of pressure going on. Why? Because they expect that being an IT, you should know all about computers and especially the code stuff. But then, that doesn’t limit the fact that you should only focus in coding. Information Technology is very wide. But, in order for you to know the branches of IT, you should of course, study.

When my  classmates are doing their job and I’m the only one who doesn’t know what to do, because I am silent and doesn’t talk that much, I started to feel down to myself. I feel like I’m being apart from them and less competent. I feel like I am small based on the words they’re saying, although I not sure if that was meant for me.

But you know, as they say that you should keep moving forward. This is just start of facing a lot of challenges in life. I just need to show courage and be brave to conquer those difficult situations that can lead to a successful future.

I bet no one would ever read this so, I’m just gonna leave it here.



P.S. I think I want a new career path. I’ll just wait for the right moment and time.

Uncontrollably Fond

I haven’t watched the last episode for about 2 weeks due to having a lot of school works especially our thesis. I feel guilty whenever I sneak some clips on it. But today, I’m finally done with Uncontrollably Fond.

Reaction: CONFUSED

I don’t know whether Shin Joon Young died or not because he didn’t showed in the last parts of the episode. The last appearance of him when he was sleeping in the shoulder of Noh Eul. He didn’t respond on the third time when Eul was asking if he is still awake. And probably, that marked the death of him.

BUT, after maybe a few days, Joon Young’s colleagues found a video and they watched it. On the video, he talked about his illness. And he said that yesterday marked the end of the 3 months the doctor gave him. Which means he SURVIVED. And another thing that confuses me if he’s still alive is when Eul talked to a poster of Shin Joon Young and she said “see you tomorrow” I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, I’ll just leave it there. They said that it’ll have a season 2 like the Descendants of The Sun but, no confirmation at all.


Another KDrama that has come to an end, but hopefully there will be a Season 2.

To The Beautiful You

This KDrama was aired on 2012. It is all about a girl who entered an all boys school, not just to see her crush/idol/love/inspiration (idk) but to see him high jump again. If you want to know more about the story, you can read the plot here.

I already finished all the episodes and I’m literally sad by that time especially the last episode knowing that the story is done. This will probably one of my faves.

How I wish there was a Season 2 but, nah. I just had to accept the fact that the story ends there and move on.

Descendants Of The Sun

Way back home from yesterday’s trip, I suddenly missed this Korean Drama so, I played the OST of it. It made me feel a little bit emotional and I don’t even know why, every time I hear those songs. Anyway, there’s nothing more to post here. This is just some bunch of photos.


Here are some of their OSTs’ photos.

I am so gonna miss this Korean Drama.

Well, all Korean Dramas I’ve already watched.

Ginoong Informatics 2016

It’s been 10 days from now since I won the Ginoong Informatics 2016. I just can’t believe I did it. I was being discouraged, not by other people, but myself. Maybe it’s because that was my first time to join a competition, although it’s not a huge event, in my school. So many thoughts came in my mind when one of the professors asked me to join the pageant.

“Ms., paano yung sa question and answer portion? Baka wala akong masagot dun.”
“Ms., how will I able to answer the question? What if I mental block?”

“Ms., sinong mag aayos sakin? Anong isusuot ko?”
“Ms., who will contour me? What will I wear?

“Hala Ms., hindi ko kaya baka walang sumuporta sakin.”
“Ms., I’m afraid that no one will support me.”

But then, I was wrong not believing in myself. I asked bunch of my friends if I should continue, they said “yes”. I also realize that this is the time to come out in my comfort zone and be confident to face a lot of people.

And then, the day of pageant came (August 25, 2016)

The clock is ticking and I can feel the pound on my chest. I wanted to clear my mind but there are so many things bothering me. I practiced answering questions with my friends and I can’t even answer them straight. I was nervous and I don’t know what to do by that time.


The event finally started.

First round was ramping with our partner. I was disappointed because no one shouted and cheered for us. I told to myself that we’re gonna lose.


Second round was the talent. We danced ballroom which only took maybe 1:30 mins. And this time, half of the crowd shouted and cheered. We just practiced the day before the event because there are lots of school works to do so we got no time to rehearse.

Excuse my VERY awkward poses. I’m not that kind of a smooth dancer. Haha!

And then the final round, the question and answer portion. We’re the 3rd partner to present and I’m shaking by that time.

When it was our turn, I thought “this is it, no turning back now.”

Judge #3: “Maaari mo bang ipakilala ang iyong sarili?”
“Kindly introduce yourself.”

“Magandang gabi po sa inyong lahat. Ako si John Nicole Villanueva. Ang kumakatawan sa ikatlong pang… antas ng kolehiyo.”
“Good evening everyone. I am John Nicole Villanueva. The representative of the third grou… year in college.”

I stuttered from nervous and thinking what will be the question.

Judge #3: “Paano mo ihahalintulad ang kultura ng sariling atin sa kultura ng ibang lahi?”
“How will you compare the culture of the Philippines to the culture of other country?

I can’t think of any answer but I suddenly remember what I memorized about something that is quite related to the question. And then I thought, “Bahala na.” “Whatever.”

“Ipagmamalaki ko ang kultura ng ating bansa sa pamamagitan ng pag tangkilik sa sariling atin. Ang pagmamahal sa kultura at tradisyon na kinagisnan ng bawat Pilipino…”
“I will patronage the culture of the Philippines and be proud of it. I’ll show love to the culture and tradition that every Pilipino knew…”

Unfortunately, I was out of words and got mental blocked. But then, everyone cheered for me. I told to myself, this is it, I’m gonna lose. After, maybe, 10 seconds, I continued and said..

“… Ang kultura natin ay ating gamitin at impluwensiyahan ang mga Pilipino na tangkilikin ito at maari natin itong maipagmamalaki sa ibang lahi. Maraming salamat po.”
“… We should use our culture and influence every Pilipino to patronage and be proud of it. Thank you.”

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. My last answer was a bit nonsense. I was really sad with my answer even though the crowd shouted and cheered.

After that, it’s the time for announcing the winners.

First award is the Best in Barong Tagalog and Filipiniana. The second year contestants got it. Second award is the Best in Talent. The night class contestants won that award. Third is the People’s Choice. I had high hopes because I already knew that I won based on the likes on Facebook. So, the second year girl and I won.

Finally, it’s the time to proclaim the Ginoo at Binibining Informatics 2016.

My mind is completely empty by that time.

“Ang nanalo bilang Ginoong Informatics 2016 ay si…” *drum rolls* “… John Nicole Villanueva!”
“The winner of Ginoong Informatics 2016 is…” *drum rolls* “… John Nicole Villanueva!”

I was like, woah. For real? Then I walked in front to receive my award. I am so glad by that time. I saw my mom in the crowd smiling and giving me a thumbs up. I just can’t believe I did it!

That night is a memorable one. First because, of course, I won two awards! And second is that my mom was there because I thought she wouldn’t come and watch. (She only saw the last portion of the pageant but that’s okay tho, I asked one of my friends to record me so that I could show it to my mom after.)

I believe that everyone of us has the opportunity to won. You just have to have trust in yourself that you can make it no matter what. Win or lose, the important thing is you did what is have to be done and prove to them that you can make it.